SHARE THIS

FACEBOOK

  DELICIOUS

  STUMBLEUPON

  REDDIT

The Lovely Bones is the new Peter Jackson film based off the very popular novel written by Alice Sebold.  The film stars Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Saoirse Ronan, Susan Sarandon and Stanley Tucci.  Ok, so I didn’t read this book. Yes, I know that half the population above the age of 12 has been through it cover to cover.

Anyways, as listed above this cast is stacked with all-stars.  However, the film is anything but a trip to the allstar game. The Lonely Bones is a slow, drawn out, film with a supersize me factor of creepiness.  For those that are unfamiliar with the book, The Lovely Bones is about the ghost of a murdered teenage girl who tries to help her family/friends discover her remains.

Soairse Ronan plays Susie Salmon, the murdered and raped teenage girl, while Tucci plays the startling next door neighbor who is guilty of the crime.  I think what made this movie so creepy was Ronan’s voice. She narrates the entire story from the crossroads between Earth and Heaven.  I mean, come on, you’re dead. How can you be so serene? Yes, I know a big part of the movie is to convey Susie’s acceptance of what happened, but her tone just doesn’t work. It is extremely soft and mostly eerie.  It makes the scenes where she attempts to reconnect with her family very uncomfortable to watch; and just not believable.  On a side note, I do not do well with such awful crimes as depicted in this movie.  Stuff like that really bothers me.

The problem is this movie does not really go anywhere. Susie wants to go to heaven, then she realizes she has unfinished business on Earth, then she wants to go to heaven again, then she realizes she has more unfinished business. Peter Jackson,  Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens  (the genius writers behind LOTR) do a poor job of adapting the story to film. A book is able to get away with a lot of things a movie is not.  I hear, from those that read the book, that Sebold does a great job of depicting these scenes.  Here, Peter Jackson has 2 hours to get us hooked and captivated in this paranormal world based on the afterlife.  Sadly, he crashes.

We have all seen movies where the afterlife/heaven is portrayed as a bright, grass filled place, covered with moutains, valleys, and some bodies of water. He tried to recreate his vision of a perfect and joyous place. The scenes got old and repetitive, and left me eagerly awaiting the ending credits.   When a movie has you not caring about the body of the film and just concerned with the ending, there is a problem. This movie could have been 45 minutes really.

Where James Cameron succeeded in Avatar, Peter Jackson failed with The Lovely Bones. Sure it might be unfair to compare due to budgets alone, but hey, no excuses right.

Pete, Pete, Pete! What were you thinking? I hate to say this movie was bad, but hey, it was.  All I can say is, The Hobbit can’t come soon enough.

Skip The Lovely Bones

Keep Bantering.