It’s that time of year again. Where we all get together around our computers and see which star makes the most money. What a fun game!

Forbes has put together its list of the most overpaid movie stars. The list compares the cost of the actor versus the total box office. The differences are astronomical. Kind of.

Drew Barrymore is number one on the list due to her films Lucky You (2007) and Everybody’s Fine (2009) which were a considerable time ago. I’m pretty sure I’ve either seen Everybody’s Fine or never heard of it. Must’ve been good. Eddie Murphy makes the list because of excellent career choices like Meet Dave (2008) and Imagine That (2009). May 1st was the cut off date so Tower Heist does not factor in. Something tells me that may be good for him considering it placed second in this weekend’s box office. I bet he really wishes Donkey had a part in Puss in Boots if you know what I’m saying. You should know because it is very literal: he would have made much more money being in that film. Because it is doing well. Because people wanted to see it…(Animation films do not count in this equation because the main draw is the cartoon.)

Will Ferrell is number three even though he has been in the top spot for the last couple years. If I remember correctly, Ferrell used to be funny. Can anyone confirm this? That really seems like a thing that happened? Hm. Oh well. The Other Guys is what helped him fall in the list. Land of the Lost is what initially earned him that top spot.

Reese Witherspoon is number four because, for some reason, she decided to do How Do You Know. But so did Jack Nicholson, Paul Rudd, and Owen Wilson. Weird.

Denzel Washington rounds out the top five. Why? Why would Denzel make the top five when all his movies do so well? Because he celebrates Hollywood like some actors and actresses don’t know how. He asks for so much money per movie that they have to make a gagillion times more to break even on his salary. Notice the lack of other big names in his movies? He doesn’t want them there. At this point, he’s got an Oscar. The guy’s retiring in the most fun way possible. He puts his feet up and coasts through Unstoppable.

Thus, I want to congratulate number five on doing it right. This is the end of the article. I’m shaking my head in disbelief as I eat cold Ramen.