Yes, yes. I take full responsibility for seeing the Valentine’s Day-released This Means War, about two best friend spies who vie for the same woman’s love. I mean, how could I not want to see it?! Action movies are a must in my household, and who doesn’t like a good romantic comedy. No, I was not expecting this to be a good movie, in any sense of the word, but I thought it might be fun. And at the very least I thought it would give me something pretty to look at for the hour and half run time. I mean, Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, AND Tom Hardy? Could this movie have gotten better eye candy?! Perhaps if you threw in a Ryan Gosling, but other than that, I think they did a pretty stellar job on the prettiness-front.

So, yes. It is my own fault I went to see this movie. I got excited, I planned to see it, and I spent the money. I am just telling you this, so that you know that I have no one to blame but myself for wasting six whole dollars (for a morning matinee at AMC) on this bad, bad movie.

Like I said, I was not expecting this movie to be good, but I would have thought that given the somewhat-credible cast, it wouldn’t have been awful. It just seemed that at about half-way through, everyone in the movie– actors, director, writers– they all just stopped trying to produce anything original or even good at all. Not only were there major scenes that seemed to come straight out of She’s All That (what a strange movie to take inspiration from) and Speed (which would have been awesome in 1994), but also the actors didn’t even seem to be having very much fun. When you go to see a movie like this, you pray for a Mr. And Mrs. Smith and not a Bride Wars. Rather, you want chemistry and a whole lot of fun, instead, this movie offered lackluster interactions and quick fixes to big problems.

In fact, I’d say the only really fun part of the movie, aside from the romance between Tom Hardy and Chris Pine– some might even call it a bromance, but it seemed to me to be a lot more homoerotic than traditional portrayals of the bromance– was Chelsea Handler’s turn as the quirky best friend. I mean, it’s true that she can basically do no wrong by me, but she continued to do so in this movie. Who doesn’t love an alcoholic new mother?!

But other than those two things, I really do not have any other semblance of praise for the movie. Even the shots of Los Angeles (my hometown) were just not working. And so for the next romantic comedy I shell out the big bucks to see, I beg of you, please let it just be a fun one.

SKIP IT.