Posted by Rande Iaboni on October 24, 2012 at 3:13 pm
It’s that time again Banters, that’s right, my favorite holiday movie season – Halloween. And what better film series represents the holiday than Michael Meyers’ ‘Halloween’ franchise. There have been NUMEROUS entries to the series, ranging from the original in 1978 to the remake in the 2000′s. And since it is a tradition of mine to watch the whole franchise in its entirety, I thought it would be a perfect idea to rank all the films from worst to best! Take a look below:
10 – Halloween III: Season of the Witch
PLOT: A large Halloween mask-making company has plans to kill millions of American children with something sinister hidden in Halloween masks.
WHY: Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that this movie is necessarily terrible, but it is the only film to not feature Michael Meyers, and therefore it is the least effective in the Halloween series. If it had been titled something completely different my feelings would also be different. Overall, Halloween films and Michael Meyers are dependant on one another and without Meyers there is no film.
9 - Halloween II (2009 VERSION)
PLOT: Laurie Strode struggles to come to terms with her brother Michael’s deadly return to Haddonfield, Illinois; meanwhile, Michael prepares for another reunion with his sister.
WHY: This movie is complete and utter trash, the sad thing is, director Rob Zombie would probably think that is a compliment. While his remake of the original was not perfect it still managed to create some suspense and have some likable characters. This time around he turned the infamous final girl Laurie Strode into a drunk cursing monster. She is just as much of a psychopath as her brother Michael Meyers. The only enjoyable characters are Annie and her father Sheriff Brackett, unforuately they are not given nearly enough screen time and we are instead treated to ample gore and absolutely zero suspense or tension.
8 - Halloween: Resurrection
PLOT: When a group of teens win a contest to spend a night in Michael Myers’ childhood home to be broadcast live on the internet, they believe they are in for a little fun and some free publicity. But, things go frightfully wrong and the game turns into a struggle to make it out of the house alive.
WHY: Two words, Busta. Rhymes. This film is the sole reason the Halloween franchised was basically killed (no pun intended) and was forced to be remade by Rob Zombie. The acting is atrocious, the scares are non-existent, and again, Busta Rhymes. I’m not kidding, if you want a good laugh check out Busta Rhymes beat up Michael Meyers using kung-fu. Yep, that actually happens in a Halloween film.
7 – Halloween: The Curse of Michael Meyers
PLOT: Six years ago, Michael Myers terrorized the town of Haddonfield, Illinois. Meanwhile, the family that adopted Laurie Strode is living in the Myers house and are being stalked by Myers. It’s the curse of Thorn that Michael is possessed by that makes him kill his family. And it’s up to Tommy Doyle and Dr. Loomis, to stop them all.
WHY: Does somebody want to tell me why the family who adopted Laurie Strode would decide to live in Michael Meyers’ old house? This film’s plot has as many holes as Meyers’ victims. It’s Donald Pleasance’s last appearance in a Halloween film and it’s unfortunate that his character had to go out on such a bad note, because this film is pretty dreadful. The inclusion of Tommy Doyle (the young boy from the original) is a nice touch, but the “Man in Black” and evil cult characters make zero sense and are never fully explained. Overall I’m sure star Paul Rudd would like to forget this film ever happened, I know I do.
6 – Halloween (2007 Remake)
PLOT: After being committed for 17 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution (where he was committed as a 10 year old) and returns to Haddonfield, where he wants to find his baby sister, Laurie. Anyone who crosses his path is in mortal danger.
WHY: Even though the thought of remaking a horror classic sounds like a terrible idea in theory, and it usually is, I actually enjoy Rob Zombie’s remake of the original. Sure it takes away a lot of the scary mystery behind Michael Meyers’ existence by showing us his childhood, but Zombie attempted to do something different with the franchise and I think he pulled it off. I dug the gritty and dirty look of it all, this is a horror film after all, even if the gore and ridiculous cussing was excessive. Daeg Faerch knocked it out of the park as the young Meyers and while this film lacked overall tension, it brought back Meyers in a major way and made him brutally scary again!
5- Halloween 5
PLOT: It is exactly one year later since Michael Myers returned to terrorize his hometown of Haddonfield, and his long-lost niece, Jamie Lloyd. Now, he wants revenge! Young Jamie, who has lost her ability to speak since attacking her foster mother, has developed a telepathic link with her demonic uncle. The ever resourceful Dr. Sam Loomis has realized this, and plans to use it to finally put an end to Michael’s rage.
WHY: This is a solid follow up to Part 4 in the franchise (one of my favorite entries) but it suffers from a lack of focus. There is the introduction of the ‘Man in Black’ with absolutely no explanation, the anxious Jamie Lloyd who cannot speak (that got frustrating after awhile), and the ever so annoying Tina who could not stop giggling the entire film. I mean seriously she had to be the most bothersome female lead ever. Not to mention this film also kills off a major character in the very beginning (i wont ruin it for you!) that I found to be a HUGE mistake.
4 – Halloween II (1981 VERSION)
PLOT: Laurie Strode is rushed to the hospital, while Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis hunt the streets for Michael Myers, who has found Laurie at the Haddonfield Hospital.
WHY: This film gets a lot of flack because lets face it, how could you ever live up to the original Halloween? You honestly can’t and so any follow-up to that will be considered a disappointment. But as far as sequels go this is one of the best. It keeps the same tension as the original Halloween, all the surviving characters return (I always love that), and it brings on one of the best plot twists in cinematic history, Michael Meyers and Laurie Strode are siblings! That’s right, most people dont realize it wasn’t until the sequel that audiences learned this.
3 – Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
WHY: This film holds a strong place in my heart. It is actually the first Halloween film I ever saw at the ripe age of 8 in the theaters! And after that I was hooked and absolutely had to check out all of the others. A lot of people find this film to be somewhat boring up until the last 30 minutes or so, and upon re-watching the film I can definitely see that, but the memory from when I first saw this entry is still fresh in my mind, and I still remember being scared out of my mind by it. The jump scares, the tension, suspense, and acting are all top notch here. And what could be better than Laurie Strode returning after 20 years!? I mean what other franchise has pulled that off? This could’ve been a fantastic ending to the series, but alas cash-grabbing Hollywood had to keep going.
2 – Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers
PLOT: Ten years after his original massacre, the invalid Michael Myers awakens and returns to Haddonfield to kill his seven-year-old niece on Halloween. Can Dr. Loomis stop him?
WHY: Out of all the Halloweens this is probably the one I watch the most, and I definitely make sure to watch it every year on the actual day. There is just something so…Halloween about it. It nails the tension of the original but still keeps the film well paced throughout. It has scares from beginning to end and unlike many other Halloween films it has well fleshed out characters. It not only brought back Michael Meyers after his absence in part 3 but also introduces us to Halloween fan favorites Jamie Lloyd (Meyers’ niece) and her older sister Rachel. Even if the acting is sometimes corny (Donald Pleasance overdoes it a little here) this is the most fun you’ll have with any film in the franchise.
1 – Halloween (1978 Original)
PLOT: A psychotic murderer institutionalized since childhood for the murder of his sister, escapes and stalks a bookish teenage girl and her friends while his doctor chases him through the streets.
WHY: Well did you expect anything else would be my number 1 other than the film that started it all? But honestly, the original Halloween is not just getting the top spot because it came first, the truth is it genuinely is the best film of them all. It might even be the best horror film ever, I’m sure others would argue differently, but this film really is an icon for a reason. The characters are so well fleshed out and relatable, even annoying Lynda is a character everyone knows in real life. The nail-biting tension throughout the entire film is an inspiration to all horror films out there. It definitely shows that less is more. It really isn’t until the final act that our lead, Laurie Strode actually comes face to face with Meyers, but that doesn’t change the fact that audiences were scared the entire time. It created two horror icons – one of the greatest villains of all time and the most iconic horror heroine to grace our screens.
And there you have it Banters. All 10 Halloween films ranked from worst to best. Whether you agree with my choices or not, it goes without saying that the Halloween franchise has certainly had a monumental impact on the horror genre. Michael Meyers is without a doubt the most iconic horror villain and that epic theme song will forever be playing through my mind on the spooky night of Halloween each year. Thank you very much John Carpenter!
How would you rank the Halloween films Banters?