Posted by Alia Haddad on October 26, 2012 at 10:14 am
I feel much the same about Arnold Schwarzenegger that Tia and Tamera felt about Roger. Sure, I’d venture to say he held some appeal in his 80′s/early 90′s heyday. I’m not heartless, am I?! I can admit it: I love a good viewing of the Terminator franchise; I’m always okay with watching Twins; and every Christmas season, my family gathers around to watch a plethora of themed-films, with Jingle All The Way almost always making the cut. But the thing is, it’s not the 80′s/early 90′s anymore. And as much as I may wish for the 90′s to come back, if only for the range of amazing movies (they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore, let me tell you), they haven’t. And since the 90′s Schwarzenegger has made an ass out of himself many times over, starting with his Reagan-esque career switch from actor to politician, to his home-wrecking decision to cheat on a Kennedy and lie about fathering a child to their cleaning lady, to the list of terrible, terrible movies he’s made as of late.
Just like Tia an Tamera screamed, “Ugh, go home Roger,” I, too, wish to belt the same sentiment out to Schwarzenegger, and that he actually hear me. Why so hostile? Because he’s back in full force in the movie making game. Even Reagan didn’t come back! A quick gander at his IMDB page reveals that he has not one but five movies lined up for 2013. And with Expendables 2 coming out earlier this year, we know the big man is eyeing a comeback.
And what’s more than six films? Seven! (My counting skills are up to par, no?) That’s right, The Playlist is reporting that the burly man in question is set to reprise his role as Conan in yet another Conan the Barbarian reboot, never mind that one came out just last year.
So, the dawn of the attempted Schwarzenegger comeback is upon us. A scary time, indeed. But I remain faithful in my fellow humans (those that go to the movies anyhow) to shut this down. Why, you malleable minds ask? Well, it’s not the 80′s anymore and his simplicity is no longer funny, he’s too old for these roles, he almost ruined my home state, and, oh right, he cheated on a Kennedy. Ugh, go home Arnold!