How can I put this delicately?

Kisses, Chloe is awful. It feels good to get that off my chest. Ninety minutes of talking, talking, talking. No one loves good, interesting dialogue more than I do. (There are millions of people who like good, interesting dialogue.) Well, this movie had plenty of gabbing, but never said anything.

The story of a young couple visiting the girlfriend’s “BFF,” Kisses Chloe finds itself tangled in the mixed up, sexual tension hinted from the get go. The whole story takes place in one location, and never involves any but three actors. With such a minimal setting, you would expect it to seem short. (Nope!) It drags on forever, everyone becoming more uncomfortable and unhappy.

Boo Chloe. Boo!

The only thing that makes the movie even the least bit watchable is Mikal Evans as Emily, who actually acts. Both Chloe and Emily’s boyfriend don’t do much of anything except flirt and chatter. The point is Chloe is a slut; that’s obvious. THEN she tries to steal Emily’s boyfriend. (Slut.) THEN we find out Emily and Chloe had a thing in college. THEN she tells stories of when she was in Europe and was a prostitute for a night? What?

Ugh, Kisses, Chloe. I see what you were trying to do here. You were trying to make a compelling drama told almost solely by the words and actions of three characters. You were trying to play some sort of mind game with the viewer from the position of the girlfriend. The problem is you didn’t do it. Totally avoid it.

SKIP IT.